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Warning: Rant Ahead!

Ever try to get a refund and someone tells you they can’t give you your money back? You buy a vacation package from Expedia and have to cancel it. They tell you you have to get a refund from the airline or hotel. The hotel says they can’t give you your money back, you have to go to Expedia. The airline claims they never heard of you or Expedia.

You loan money to your cousin and instead of them just paying you back like they said they would, they tell you to collect the money from your uncle’s friend since he owes your cousin money.

What kind of crap is that? If I loan you money, you pay me back. It’s that simple. It’s not my responsibility to chase down your uncle’s friend and get my money. Seriously. Come on.

What is it with our society that no one wants to take responsibility. Not as individuals, not as businesses? Come on people, have the buck stop with you! Whether that “you” is a business or that “you” is just you. Make a decision. Take a stand. Do the right thing.

A note to Expedia and every other company that sells a product or service that isn’t “yours”: If I buy something from you, actually give you my money for a product or service, then YOU are responsible for giving me my money back. Not the government. Not the manufacturer. Not your neighbor. You. I gave you the money, you give it back. Period. End of story.

A note to people I lend money to: You pay me back. Don’t try to figure out who owes you money and tell me to collect it from them. Don’t tell me to get it from your sister, your aunt, your dad, your ex-boyfriend, your boss or your best friend. I gave you the money, you give it back.

And by the same token, if I sell you something as an individual or a business, I’ll give you your money back. I won’t tell you to go ask the contractor or manufacturer or broker… I’ll give it to you myself.

If I borrow money from you. I’ll pay you back myself. Hand you the money personally. I won’t make you collect it from my freeloading “friend” who owes me money but can’t seem to pay me back. I’ll give you the money you loaned me myself. Promise.

Okay, you might not believe this, but this island actually has electricity off generators… and internet. It costs 40 cents a minute, which is like a meal every two minutes. You ever notice how your ‘currency’ changes? or maybe it’s just me, but when I was home for Christmas, my ‘currency’ was a night’s stay in Bangkok, so every time I spent $4.50, I was spending a guesthouse for a day. It wasn’t easy to spend any money. Now that I’m here, I don’t spend dollars, or kip or baht, or yen;I spend sticky rice and laup. So every two minutes on the internet it’s costing me my favorite Laotian meal. It’s still not easy to spend any money.

Where were we? Ah, yes… Laotian Communist sitting next to me with his AK-47 falling asleep on my shoulder, and me trying to figure out how I can get my China Airlines pillow out of my bag for him without waking him up and having him see my laptop…

No worries really, all those years spent stalking game in the woods has given me the ability to move a millimeter a second. I picked up my bag with my feet until I could grab it, then very slowly took the pillow out and slid it under his head. He liked that idea! And I was happy because he was happy. I was slowly making a friend.
He woke up in about an hour or so and we exchanged smiles. He was really appreciative of the pillow and was warming up to me. I noticed that the end of his gun was sticking out the bottom of his jean jacket and decided to let him know I knew it was there. This was a little risky on my part I know, but if you’ve ever read the book ‘Influence’ or ‘Maximum Influence’, you know one of the things that connects people is having a secret between them. I decided to play that card even though I knew it could turn out bad. But I played it with a twist, because another thing that binds people is having a common enemy. So I implicated the German girl sitting next to me and motioned that I didn’t want her to see the gun. There’s my chivalry shining thru again!

Seriously though, at this point, I was in. At least much as I figured was possible. He was smiling and friendly and even shared some of his rice with me. We were tight. I had won him over.

It was at that point that the German girl sitting next to me pointed out that a guy standing in the aisle about halfway up the bus also had the muzzle of a gun sticking out from under his jacket. She hadn’t noticed the guy next to me and this came as a real shock to her that someone on the bus had a gun. I was a little less surprised, but not feeling terribly good about it either.

And I was even less enthusiastic about it when, about 15 minutes later we stopped for another bathroom break at the side of the road and the new guy with the gun sat down next to me. But it was all good. The other guy must have told him about the whole thing, including that I had a pillow, and he was friendly too. And he wasn’t hiding his gun from anyone after that. He just stood it on the floor and held it with his legs. Then he too fell asleep on me. Who would have ever thought that pillow would come in so handy?

And really, that’s about the end of the story. They ended up kicking the Laotian guy out of the back seat so they could both sit next to me and they spent the rest of the trip sleeping and laughing at me. They loved the hair on my arms and I think each of them must have rubbed my forearms at least 4 times each. At the end of which they would laugh and make monkey sounds. I didn’t think this was particularly funny myself, but you can bet I laughed. Humility is a good thing. Again, my Grandmother would be proud. Anyway, I was used to this because the kids in Korea loved to rub the hair on my arms. Oh, and if you didn’t know, this is strange to them because Asians don’t have hair on their arms or chest. I didn’t show them my chest though.

When we got off the bus at Vientiane, they both offered their hands and I shook them. I did all that worrying for nothing, they were pretty good guys.

And one more brief story, then I gotta get to bed. I took an overnight bus from Vientiane to Paske. It was the first time I’d taken an actual ‘ sleeper’ bus with beds and the whole deal! I was pretty excited to get some real sleep on the bus for once.

I didn’t quite understand what the guy who was selling me the ticket was saying, but I did get that I was going to have a lower bed, which was great because apparently these were bigger than the upper beds. My excitement left me when I found a fat Laotian man already in my bed when I got on the bus. Apparently I had a bigger bed because two people shared it. Happy day. And to make matters worse, there were two Brits in the bed across from me who thought that sleeping with some strange guy was hilarious. They were in stitches and cracking jokes for about 5 minutes. Dickheads.

Always an adventure…

Hope you are doing well and enjoying the beautiful days and nights. All my love– John

I’ve traveled a bit the last few years. Honestly, I didn’t make it out of North America for 40 years, but in the last 3.5 years I’ve been in something like 12 countries. A lot of that is because I have a girlfriend who loves to travel so I end up following her around. She’s twenty and been to over 30 countries already. She can pack for a three month trip in about 2 hours. Amazing.

Anyway, I want to tell you some traveling stories. The one I’m going to start with is in two parts. It’s taken from two emails I sent my friends and family.

Just for a bit of background, on this trip I am on my second 3 month backpacking trip through Cambodia, Thailand, and Laos. This was before all the big problems in Thailand though, so it wasn’t as dangerous as it might be now.

Hey all,
I’m back in Southeast Asia. Been here for maybe 2 weeks now traveling thru Laos.
Everything is by bus here, well not everything, but plane tickets are expensive and I’ve heard a little dangerous, some of the planes don’t really have regular inspections. And if they upkeep the planes anything like the buses, I’m betting they’re fixed and repaired with motorbike parts. Anyway, I’ve been traveling by bus. A lot! This last week has been pretty much nothing but one bus ride after another. Twenty hours in 27 hours, one day break, then an all day ride back to Vientiane , an 11 hour overnight bus to Paske, and another to the 4,000 islands. Then a short boat ride to the islands. Arrived here at the biggest island today around noon and showered, washed my clothes, played kick-volley ball with the Laotian kids next door to the guesthouse, which turned into me tossing them up in the air and catching them, and then ate… now here I am. Finally relaxing. But let me back up a bit and tell you a little about the bus rides.

The first one worth mentioning was a 10 hour ride from LuangPrabang to Vientiane. I always try to get in the very back of the bus because there are usually four seats across the back and if I can get one of the middle 2 seats, I can stretch my legs into the aisle a bit. And understand that these seats aren’t like nice seats. Vinyl backs and tiny. Definitely not built with anyone with over a 34 inch waist, not even close. In fact the fat foreigners take the train or boat because the seats don’t have armrests and they can fit. So here I am in 85 degree weather, vinyl seat, jammed between not 3, but four Laotians, because the woman next to me has a kid, maybe 6 years old on her lap. I’ve got arms and legs all over me, which I really don’t mind much, the kid is happy, if oblivious to where his body is.

But about 15 minutes into the ride he starts puking. The first time on my pants. (My pants needed to be washed anyway.) And then his mother, bless her soul, got a bunch of plastic bags and let him throw up in those for the next 10 hours. And I’ll tell you, it was amazing. People always say that mothers and their kids have some sort of telepathic connection… but I was dumbfounded.

I was watching this kid pretty close because I didn’t want to get anything else on me, and I didn’t notice a thing different before he hurled. But she had some sort of psychic sixth sense and a split second before he was ready to hurl, she had a bag in front of him every time, in time. Amazing.

And you’d think the kid would have emptied his stomach after a few hours, which he in fact did. But we stopped for lunch and he had a hearty meal of rice and veggies, with chocolate ice cream for dessert. Reloaded, the kid went another 3 hours before running out again and falling asleep on my lap with his mom snuggled up against my shoulder.

The concept of ‘personal space’ is a lot different here. I didn’t really care about any of it. And I felt good about being good about it because I could feel the heat on that kid’s head through my pants. He was running one hell of a fever, and obviously pretty miserable himself. None-the-less, I was pretty happy to get off that bus!

The next interesting bus ride was again from LuangPrabang to Vientiane. (I made the round trip twice in 5 days.) This time was a little more nerve wracking. I got my seat in the back of the bus again. And this bus had 5 seats across in the back, which was a little tighter, but I got the third seat so I had the aisle to myself. I had a couple from Germany on my right and a couple of Laotian guys on my left.

The bus stops every few hours so people can go to the bathroom, whether there are bathrooms there or not. Usually not. Everyone piles off the bus and heads down the side of the road to find themselves a bush to hide behind. Which sort of causes me some serious personal issues, because the bus stopped both trips in the same spot, so you don’t really want to go walking too far in the bushes in case you might be walking thru what was the toilet for the guy on the bus before you. Once I figured this out, I just started peeing right on the road. No sense risking it. That’s what the locals do too. They’re not as dumb as people think.

Anyway, we are getting back on the bus from our first toilet break and I notice that the guy in filing in in front of me has a rifle under his coat. He sits down in the seat next to mine. This is not a particularly good thing as far as I’m concerned. I don’t really mind guns too much, but I don’t like them concealed and in the possession of the guy next to me in another country where I don’t know much of anything.

And I should mention that about 3 years ago there were a bunch of attacks on buses from LuangPrabang to Vientiane, the exact route I was now traveling. Apparently, some secluded rebel groups who lived in the mountains came down and took over a few buses. It’s even in the Lonely Planet. I know that because the German couple loaned me their copy and I read about it before we stopped for a toilet break. The irony of it all. This was not good news.

As I sat down and processed my situation, I realized this was really not good at all. Because if he’s a bad guy and is going to rob some foreigner, well, I’m most likely first. Second, if he’s a good guy and there to protect us from bandits and rebels, I’m going to be the first guy to get shot when the rebels shoot at him miss. Damned either way. And I also have to say that I was thinking this was slightly unfair because I have been really good the last 15 years or so, where did this crappy karma come from?

Now those of you who know me well know that I have a pretty strong instinct for self-preservation. I’m the first one out from under a building when we’re jacking it up and it creaks. When the hay in the mound wiggles a bit, I’m outta there, leaving my 60 year old friend up there by himself. I’ve also been known to throw my girlfriends between me and unknown danger in the middle of the night. Chivalry be damned, I don’t like the idea of dying much. I have too much to do to die right now, it would just be extremely inconvenient at this point.

So as I’m processing this guy next to me with his gun, which is, I kid you not, poking me in the ribs; I decide that if I’m going to die, I’m going to go down doing something I enjoy. The German girl next to me wasn’t particularly attractive, so I decided to make a bracelet. Yes, I know strange, but the plastic Wal-mart bag I was making it from was very special to me. Plus, weaving just sort of calms my mind.

I already had the bag cut into long strips and the next step was to twist them into a cord to be added and twisted into the other cords I would make so it would be stronger and last more than a couple of weeks. I was twisting one end, but needed something to anchor the other end so it wouldn’t spin. I put it in my mouth.

It was at this point that I decided the gun-guy was a good guy and if I was going to die, it would be at the hands of someone trying to commandeer the bus. Because he took the cord out of my mouth and stretched it across his seat. As I twisted it, he pulled the twist down to his end so the twist would go in evenly. He was quite proud of himself for knowing this trick.
All in all, I was considering this to be a really good turn of events. It was obvious that he had done something like this before, maybe it made him think of growing up as a boy sitting in the living room with his mom spinning yarn or something. And I acted very appreciate and impressed. I’m sure you can imagine, because you know I enjoy making people feel good just because I like to do it, but none of you have ever seen me do it with the added incentive of a gun sticking me in my side. I was, I have to admit, amazingly gracious. My Grandmother would have been proud.

And though there were no words, he didn’t speak English and I don’t speak Lao, we made a connection. I cannot tell you how happy that made me. Maybe I would be the second guy he robbed, or maybe he’d just rob me and not take me hostage.

But then I realized I had a Laos-English translation book and he couldn’t read it. The first problem was that it was a tiny bit of a slam on his ego, which I inflicted. Second, I was thinking why the hell can’t this guy read Laotian? Hmmm…. Maybe because he grew up with the rest of his insurgent clan in the mountains. Not good.

Strange thoughts, I know, but unless you have ever been sitting next to a guy with an AK-47 poking you in the ribs, you don’t get to judge me. : )

He stayed awake for about another hour while intermittently helping with the bracelet. Then he, like all Laotians I sit next to, decided to use my shoulder for a pillow. And this is where I made my second big move toward friendship with him. I had a pillow I stole from China Airlines in my bag to protect my laptop, I decided that it was more important to protect my life than my laptop so I thought I’d give him my pillow. The problem was that he was resting against my shoulder and I didn’t want to wake him up and have him see my laptop, which is worth an entire year’s salary here in Laos.

Getting late here and the generators keep giving out. I’ll get back to you all tomorrow.

Love you!! John

Having a nap on my shoulder. The other guy is just some random guy they kicked out later.

Statistically I should be dead or at least paralyzed from the waist down.

I crashed a paraglider and pretty much did a free-fall from 8 meters up.

I was rescued and carted off to the hospital in a country where barely anyone spoke English. I had no clear idea what was going on, what my options were, or what was going to happen to me.

The doctors put 4 pins and 6 titanium screws in my back to hold it steady. I lost about an inch and half in height, I think because my spine compressed.

It’s now 5 months later and I’m just about 100% again. I can walk and do my normal Bas Rutten workout in the mornings.

I did a bunch of exercises, stretching, and ate a special diet so I grew about an inch and a quarter. I am working to get the other quarter inch back. You can read the whole story at www.jcyost.net if you want. I don’t even know if the links work anymore, but DO NOT donate.

It’s a great story of love and human kindness. Friends, family, and absolute strangers found out what happened and donated enough to pay for my entire surgery and all the related hospital costs. My girlfriend’s father bought her a plane ticket from New Zealand to Korea and she stayed with me and took care of me for 2 months while I could only hobble around. It is amazing. I am one lucky guy.

I’m lucky to be alive. I almost died. I should be dead. And you know what’s strange? I thought I was supposed to have some epiphany and realize that life is short and that I have to get going on my dreams.

Isn’t that what happens to normal people? They almost die, or find out they have six months to live, and they get motivated to follow their bliss. They invariably end up changing the world and their ailment goes away.

That didn’t happen to me. Why not? Was I that afraid?

Yes, I sure was.

I still am. I don’t want to do write this blog. Well, that’s not true. I want to write this, but I’m scared as hell to do it.

Do you know why? Because I care.

Writing here means something to me. I’m thinking this is my life’s goal.
My purpose in life. The thing that will give my life true meaning.

And that thinking is exactly what is stopping me from doing it. There is too much meaning behind it. Too much at stake.

I feel like it’s a life or death. And I don’t feel up to the challenge of taking on a life or death fight just now. I’m not feeling that confident.

But I’m writing this, so why?

Fear.

My fear of not writing it is greater than my fear of writing it.

How’s that for being between a rock and a hard place? The criteria for making a decision is “Which option will cause me the least pain?”

It doesn’t seem like a very healthy way to choose.

But I think in the beginning of an adventure of any kind, that is the choice I’ve always faced. What is the lesser fear?

Let me explain.

I filled out a questionnaire, I bet it was 4-5 years ago, and they asked “What are you most afraid of?”

I wrote “The fear of dying with my gifts still in me.”

And here, finally, five years later, the fear of dying with my gifts in me is greater than my fear of failing at my ultimate goal.

I like to think I am motivated by love and goodness and doing the right thing.

I want to think I’m mostly motivated by all the good comes of something I do.
Or the pleasure I’ll get when I succeed. That would be nice, but…

The bottom line for me is that I am motivated by fear. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing as long as I am happy along the way.

It seems like a paradox to think fear can lead to joy, but it’s true.

I might have a feeling of fear and dread in my stomach as I write this, but I am happy and proud of myself for doing it. Happy.

So with that said, I’ll write the first of many stories. Not that each of them will be great stories.

I know of better stories, and I know of better storytellers, but these are the stories I need to tell and maybe be ones you need to hear. They’ll be good stories and we will have some fun together.

Besides, maybe I want to just share my true self with someone. With you. Yes, with you. I hope we can get to know each other here a little.

Today I have an idea for you. Actually, it’s the first of three ideas that are we’re gonna start with, and then talk more about later.

These are ideas that will work whether things are going great and you just want better, or things are horrible and you know they need to change.

Simple principles that will help you in your business, with your family, your kids, your boss, and your employees. And really folks, this stuff is probably not all that much different from what you are doing now.

But here’s the thing, if you look at the people who are excellent at what they do, you’ll find it’s always the small things that separates them from everyone else. It’s just a small difference in thinking, a small difference in attitude, a small difference in perspective that makes a big difference in results.

First of all, and this is not the first idea, I’ll tell you when I get there. The key to happiness and success is this: Recognize your passion and selfishly devote yourself to becoming excellent at it, because the better you get, the more you have to give.

We all have a unique set of talents and gifts and our job is to use those talents to become the most excellent people we can become in order to give our very best to our families, our customers, ourselves, and each other. W

See, I figured it out, we have a need to give of ourselves, to contribute, to feel significant in some way. That’s what really matters. That’s what we crave for… to make a difference in people’s lives.

It’s the way someone lights up when you compliment them—notice their tie, their haircut, or fingernails. It’s the look on someone’s face when they open your gift, read your card, or get your flowers.

It’s seeing a smile on a kid’s face when you say, “You’re the best, I love you.”

So here we go. The first idea is this: You gotta take charge. You gotta take control.

I talk to people everyday about what it takes to be successful, and for some reason most people just want to tell me their excuses for not being successful.

And really, most of the time I just don’t care because it’s usually a bunch of garbage anyway. They usually tell me about how they would if they could, but they can’t so they won’t.

That’s what they say anyway, but the truth is that they would if they could—and they could—but they won’t. And after years of hearing people’s excuses, I’ve learned just what to say.

And if you find yourself making excuses or find yourself listening to someone else make excuses; you can say this too: “You’ve got a choice. You’ve always got a choice. You’re just too lazy to make the hard one, so you keep screwing up. Quit lying to yourself and get a clue.”

Now, some people are thinking, “Well,geez, John, that’s not very nice.”

You’re right, it isn’t nice. But look where being nice has got all of us! Being nice has got us all where we are right now. and I don’t know if you have noticed, but we could all be doing a little better.

So forget being nice for a few minutes. Being nice ain’t working in case no one’s noticed.

I’m more interested in seeing things get better. and if that means getting in your face a little bit, well… that’s what’s gonna happen.

Because the fact is that you deserve better. You’ve been selling yourself short and not letting yourself have all that you should.

I know it and you know it: You can do better, have better and be better.

So that’s what we are going to do here. We are going to get better!!

I want you to start by thinking, and maybe even writing down some things you know you could have in your life if you had a step-by-step plan to make it happen.

You know how people always go on those “Who wants to be a star?”

shows and they have no reason what-so-ever to be there?

Well watch this video, I left a few of my thoughts below. Check them out after you watch the video.

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I get goose bumps every time I watch that. And i bet i watch it 12-15 times a month. It inspires me. I showed this video to my middle school students in Korea, some of my kids cried they were so happy for her. I remember when I first saw this video, I thought for sure this poor woman was going to make a fool of herself. I love it when I’m wrong.

Do me and everyone else a favor and if you have a story of overcoming the odds, write it in the comments below. Even if it’s something you heard about, let us know!

I’m hoping you’ll bookmark this, watch it and feel the triumph and joy of being her as she sings…